A little insight can go a long way

For years I have been looked at and judged. Not because of the way I look but because of how I have raised my oldest.

Her first day at Kindergarten!

She will be 7 this year. Ever since she turned 2, we noticed she was different. That her terrible 2's phase was far out of control. When I brought it up to the pediatrics office, they just chuckled and said, "it's normal. It's a phase and will come to pass." This was a common topic as the years went by at their office and the response was always the same. They did suggest that I could see their in office therapist but it was more directed at the parents rather than the child. Maybe I should have given it a shot but I thought, what's the point if it's just a phase.

It has been a struggle to find even friends that would watch her for any reason. The first few times would be great and then it would be, "I'm sorry but I can't watch her anymore."
During her fits as we would call them, her eyes would sort of glaze over and she was not aware of what was going on. We tried cold showers to "snap" her out of it and she developed a want for these showers. Time outs you say? Ya right. That would start its own problem. Put her in her room and shut the door? She would and will to this day try to break it down. Put her in the corner? Only if you can handle to arguing, the yelling and "fidgeting." We tried spanking...and don't you dare judge. Spanking has never worked nor have time outs. So, in our house we have resorted to YELLING and lots of it. We could never really understand why she was sooo good at school and everywhere else was so different and not in a good way. It was a frustrated and angry household. Who wants a life like that?

 It started to take a toll on my marriage..How can this be..we haven't been married a full year yet and we have been together since before she was born. He told me, "I can't deal with her anymore." It was like he slapped me, ripped a portion of my heart and spat on it. I desperately started asking for help.
My girlfriend of years referred me to a psychiatrist. She has a special needs daughter(adopted) that requires medication and therapy. I immediately called the office and started the paperwork process. Finally, after 4 1/2yrs, we have answers! After 3 appointments we have a diagnosis-ODD, Anxiety that bring on symptoms of ADHD. While the psychiatrist did say that medications were a possibility, he didn't want to unless it was the only thing left. He recommended a natural supplement to help with her sleeping and we have her first therapy appt scheduled.
It has been 1 week since the diagnosis and already we have seen a difference. She is sleeping better and we are coping better. The yelling has decreased almost 50%!

Please read this link to better understand what we have been coping with for the last 4 years:
http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/dsm-iv-criteria-odd-article-4/
While the above link only scratches the surface of what we have lived with for the last 4 yrs or so, I hope that you can have a better understanding.
We are on our road to recovery and a happy family. In a little over a week, we will be taking a family trip to celebrate her lil sisters bday. She is turning 2. I am hoping with the new information and our positive new coping methods, it will be the first en joyful family trip with only more happy ones to follow.

Stay tuned as I will keep you all updated with our progress!